My New York Days

New York is a great city. Capital of the world. Every nation and every language have at least one representative here. All of them live in peace and harmony. New York is a project which proofs that it is possible. Cosmopolitan spirit? Yes, for sure! Life here is completely different from the way of life I used to see in Europe. I used to think how my life would probably be completely different if I was living and studied here. One could say that the sole fact that I was thinking about that, might be a sign that I regret I didn’t. Those who know me would probably confirm that I do regret. If you ask me, well, I am not sure.

While I was there, for several times I watched a basketball match between Columbia and Harvard. This is what made me thinking about what would be, if the tings went in the opposite direction. If only I didn’t enroll university in Serbia… It is funny to think at least for a moment what would be your life like, if you had lived or just educated in USA. The whole atmosphere was exactly like from Hollywood movies. Or Beverly Hills 90210. And tell me after this that it is a fantasy. Americans really export their culture without much lies. Seeing this entire people cheering for Columbia, seeing cheerleader girls, to hear American anthem and the way they all respect it, the way they are not ashamed to take part in embarrassing activities, like a girl trying to hit the score in the break time, and has 30 seconds to do so, and scores totally none. I mean, how is she not embarrassed to do that in front of 1,000 people there? The funny thing is that nobody is laughing at her! She was brave and she tried: “Next time it will be better! Give great applause for Jenny!!!” – official speaker called the audience. And she deserves respect. Funny thing was observing mothers supporting their sons, cheering and shouting loudly. One mother sitting next to us even knew the names of all guys from the Columbia team. One other mom behind us said, well, at least 50 times, or whenever Columbia Lions go to attack: “Don’t rush Lions! Settle up! Take it easy!!!” I was fascinated. Who told her that? Could you believe that? She was really proud she knew to say that. I think this is the way women here show how they are equal with men. This is the top of their emancipation. These women vote for the Republicans, I am sure.

It was however remarkable feeling to be there. You could learn a lot about American way of life. These people appreciate success very much. But they are not bothered if you don’t succeed immediately. Nobody expects that from you, because this is always a process. The society is prepared to support you in your path to success. Nobody will laugh at you because you want something you can not have at the moment. In Serbian terms speaking, “it was not for the girl” to go to try to hit the score. Nothing similar would happen in Serbia. At least, everybody would know that girl is actually probably just making fun, and everybody would loudly laugh to her failure. Here, this is not the case. If you really want it girl, you should go and try it again! This was the message. Be persistent in your efforts and you will score. Society is here not to humiliate you, but to support you. The society here is established in a way to appreciate success more than anything. Only successful people are pushing society towards the progress. Back home in Serbia, people are usually malicious when someone has a big success. Someone, meaning individual. Collective success is something different. If you are member of the team, which represents the collective, which is considered as emanation of “us”, you can have success. It is permissible. Deserves for this success belongs to the team, and the team is “we”. Not “he” or “she”. Any individual success shows that person is something extraordinary, some weird person, some lunatic! To be individual and successful, it is not the value over there, and people would usually try to undermine it. Not because they are malicious or jealous, but just because they consider this attitude as very intellectual and critical, so elitist. That is why you will see Serbia winning the gold in basketball, volleyball, water polo, but you will not see Serbs winning in athletics, gymnastics, or swimming. We over there do not appreciate that success much. That success is not “our” success, that success is only his/hers success. So, why would we appreciate that? And without good individuals, you will not have a good society. In USA, everything is directed to the individual success. I mentioned mother on that game, who knew the names of every team member. It is important to know who is who, and who has achieved what. This is the only way to determine and evaluate each team members’ responsibility. Team work is appreciated highly, but without good individuals, you can not have a good team. It is equally important to have good individuals, as well as individuals to fit into the team. Only if you organize team like that, everybody will know perfectly what is whose responsibility, and nobody will be in possibility to hide behind the team failure, as well as to take only for him/herself a team success.

In USA, the team is consisted of five players. In Serbia, five players are part of the team. Difference is too huge.